My name is Chika and I have been married for 6 years to a man who I loved so much and we have been blessed with 2 children. My hubby was my friend , my life until recently......
Trouble started in paradise which was my home when my husband started keeping late nights. I complained as any wife would do . I didn't think there was another woman but I was concerned for his safety and this got me labeled as a nagging wife. Then about 4 months ago, my hubby stopped sleeping with me, came home roaring drunk and decided to sleep in the guest room which now became his room till now.
This got me worried and I tried....I really tried to make him come back to the our bedroom but all to no avail. I stopped complaining about the late night and I bought nice night wears, prepared delicious meals especially his favorites but he didn't even notice me or eat the food. I then resigned my self to fate.
We were co- tenants living in the same house , we barely spoke to each other only when it was necessary ( majorly as it concerns our beautiful children).
Then Last week after 4 months of no love, touch , caresses, kiss, my hubby came home at about 11:30 pm . I got up to open the door and let him in. Then went back to my room only for him to come after me, ripped my night wear, threw my on the bed with a heavy thud that almost snapped my neck. I was confused ,curled up thinking he wants to strike me( he has never beaten me before) then he pounced on me and momentarily I fought him cos I didn't know what he wanted. This was a man that I don't know anymore, we haven't spoken in weeks . He began struggling with me. grabbed my hands , twisted them to a painful angle, I cried cos the pain was unbearable. He then pulled my hands above my head grabbed a piece of cloth( don't even know where he got it from) and tied my hands He then spread my legs and plunged into me. It was Painful , I felt like I was being dis virgined all over again. The pain was excruciating. he was rough with me. when I screamed , he stuffed a piece of cloth in my mouth to muffle my screams probably because of our children. He was a monster, went on and on brutalizing me. When he finished, he stood up , took out the clothes in my mouth and untied me, he looked at me and walked away. I ache everywhere, bruises all over my body.
I cried oh I cried so hard....I feel violated, abused, victimized by the man who promised to love me and protect. I can get the image or the feeling that he treated me as a toy, an animal who had to be tied up. He had his way with me without my consent. He forced me!
What do I do?? I have been rapped.......by my husband!!!!!!! Help what should I do???? It's been one week now and I cant look at him ,I avoid him, I feel like I am in a prison. what do I do????
Time will heal everything. the man probably had been with another lady who prefers it that way. he enjoyed it and probably wants his wife to have a feel. but i'm sure he didn't do it right with you cos of the communication gap. it would have been a lovely experience for the both of you. Like I side, time will heal all and you guys will come back again and do it right this time. This time, look at him in the eye and suggest you guys try that again.*big smiles*His not an animal, but your husband.
ReplyDeleteOh my god, are you kidding me? HE FORCIBLY RAPED HER. He's a monster. "Big smiles?" What the fuck is wrong with you?
DeleteCall 911. Man has every right to take what belong to him. Madam there is something you are not doing right. Baty
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling the guy heard somewhere that there is another man in the picture. Men usually behave that way if they think you are compromising. Instead of avoiding him, try to get to him, to make him talk. You will be surprised at the reason behind his action. It is not another woman. I am almost sure of that.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your pain but i 'll advise you to go on your knees and pray to God fervently to bring back the man you used to know. Believe me, this is the devil's handiwork and he won't succeed.Forgive him and show him more love so that he ll realized his mistakes and come back to his senses.I wish you luck.....e-hugs
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for what u had to go through. You to seek help cos I know you are traumatized. Talk to a psycholigist. Then have a talk with your hubby to know the way forward. Find out what your hubby wants, why he is angry at you. Let him know what he did is wrong and should never happen again. Don't forget to pray about it. The lord will help you.
ReplyDeleteYou are his wife,companion and not his sex slave.In some countries forceful sexual intercourse by a married partner against the other is known as marital/spousal rape.However in Nigeria,it has not been criminalized yet but you can sue for assault.No woman should endure domestic violence or abuse.Pray about it,talk to him and if it persist, in fact if it happens again,i will advice you to take legal action against him.
ReplyDeletemadam just pray and use your God's giving woman power to ask him what is making him behave the way he is during, perhaps he may have held something about you or something that he is really reacting to and does not know how to break it to you,...from your comment it shows that you still love him so much and want to keep your home. pray and God will see you through,,, don't consider the option of breaking your home.... a vicious woman builds her home with her hands... God bless your marriage does not mean there will be know difficult time... stand, fast and pray you will recover... i wish you well in this journey of life.
ReplyDeleteAvoiding him is not the best. I think you fail to understand what was wrong with him for that past for month. Guys hardly opened up, just try to get very close to him with a promising words that proves ur love to him so that you can be able to identified with his problem and let your closeness give him hope that you will never leave him. I guess something is wrong and he need your trust, love,& care. Above all be prayerful, the bible said a wise woman build her home (charity)
ReplyDeletethis is such a shame, no matter what, he has no right to rape his wife. that said though I think he is going through an unexpected bad situation he has lost grip of, feeling rejected and incapacitated by whatever the issue is. For sure he is not having an affairs outside, he is staved and at the same time has transferred his aggression to his innocent wife. so sorry about that, you have to please forgive and pray for him sincerely and I know God will restore him. Again you may have to leave the house and stay with one of his relatives for a while until its safe to stay together again, some brutal rape can kill so you must apply wisdom.
ReplyDeleteLeave that animal. He does not respect you. This is just the beginning. Everyone is saying you should try and talk to him. What if he kills you or breaks something???? Go find help, report him to the authority or better leave him!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteRape is RAPE. He had enough disrespect built up for you to take something so precious from you! NO it is never okay for ANY man to force sex upon a human!!! You need healing and the only way to get that is getting away from your abusive husband,(YES RAPE IS ABUSE). You can be many names, wife, woman, mother of children, it will never condone a man to force sex on any woman.
ReplyDeleteThis is very unfortunate....please tell God about it! With him things will change and you will have your marriage back....The marriage is still young....fight with prayers dear.
ReplyDelete